Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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