Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
