Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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