He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
