just tell him i said nine months
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I touched a dick in church today
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
