No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
