How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
