I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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