UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
