He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
