Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize