but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
