i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
