Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
