I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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