Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
