It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
