Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
