But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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