As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
