I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
