you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
