No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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