just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
