Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
