Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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