After last night, I could never be a politician.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
too bad you live with your parents still
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
