can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
