I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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