Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
