i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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