he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
