It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
