I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
