glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Drunk is not a location!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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