i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So much rum. So many feels.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
