That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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