Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
