He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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