...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
