hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
PANTIES FOUND
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