So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
