Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
