corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
