This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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