Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
