Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
