Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
