I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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