..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
