I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
