office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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