I want to make a zoo with you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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